When I received the itinerary from UBELONG on our schedule in Cambodia, I realized how much we would learn and experience. Yet, I wasn’t ready for the intensity of this expedition. We were studying the Cambodian genocide, its history and its implications for the future. However, we couldn’t succeed in our search for satisfying answers. Why did it happen? We still don’t know. What strikes me with the Cambodian case is that there is no tangible reason for the mass killings. This is not to say that any form of mass killings in history were logical, of course not. However, in other cases, the reasons that escalated fear and anger and led to the societies’ uncontrollable madness are clearer. In the case of Rwanda, there is the Belgian authorities’ favoring of the Tutsi minority over the Hutu majority. In Bosnia, there are religious and ethnic struggles. Similarly, Post-WWI Germany experienced economic hardships and the Jews were the scapegoats. On the other hand, the Khmer Rouge regime murdered their fellow Khmer. Though statistically they killed more Chams and Vietnamese, numerically, Khmer victims were the majority. As to the reasoning behind these killings, we only have the words of Nuon Chea, from the documentary ‘Enemies of the People’. According to Brother Number Two, the genocide happened because the victims were simply ‘enemies of the people’ that had to be eliminated. As simple, and as confusing as that.
During our time in Cambodia, we had the opportunity to talk to people who have experienced the brutality of the Khmer Rouge regime. Since 80% of Cambodians live in rural areas, we made a visit to the rural province Kampong Speu at Thpong district. There, we met a Khmer Rouge victim and a perpetuator –though the former Khmer Rouge soldier claimed not to have killed anyone, most of us found this quite hard to believe. The victim told us about his days away from home, and the hardships he has been through. Similarly, the former soldier explained how influential Khmer Rouge was in the rural areas. It was striking to me to learn that the Khmer Rouge leader of even a small village had the authority to take people away from their homes or kill them –so long as he wished to do so. Earlier, when we met with the Cambodian activist Theary Seng –also a victim of the Khmer Rouge- she told us about the day her mother was murdered. I still can’t forget the pain in her eyes, and her sudden detachment from the present, as she told us her story. She was in prison with her mother and siblings. One morning, she woke up to realize her mother was no longer there. Neither were the adults they shared the prison room with. She immediately understood. ‘I still remember how I felt that moment, as if it happened just a minute ago, I felt as if my spirit was detached from my body’. Horrifying acts of violence continue to haunt people for the rest of their lives. Hearing their stories shook me hard. What was harder for me was to understand their ways of coping with pain, their distinct cultural and religious background, namely, Buddhism.
The discussion of genocide is extremely sensitive. In the case of Cambodia, there are certain other factors that increase the need to watch your words as a foreigner. First and foremost, there is the unspoken but well-known fact that the international community did not do anything to stop the genocide while it happened. Second, Cambodia is still far from being a democracy, and is ruled by an authoritarian government that includes former Khmer Rouge cadre. Most of the time, it is dangerous for regular Cambodians to criticize the government or take a strong stand against the crimes committed against humanity. But perhaps most importantly, Cambodians have their own way of tackling with their history, and that involves the will to forget rather than the willingness to punish- a tendency common among us Westerners. Though I knew very well that I needed to demonstrate respect for their culture, I found this challenging. According to Buddhist belief, we experience pain and hardships in our current lives due to our wrongdoings in past lives. This allows them to think that they somewhat deserved the treatment of the Khmer Rouge. Moreover, Buddhism motivates them to think that the Khmer Rouge leaders and soldiers will be punished in their next lives. They do not seek revenge because they believe that hatred against another only worsens the situation, and of course, they believe the supernatural forces of the universe will take care of the punishment. No matter how much I forced myself, I failed to appreciate this passive approach of Buddhism. I still feel that forgiving and forgetting, without punishing those responsible, motivates the wrongdoers to manipulate the Cambodian people. Where there is no punishment, no judgment, no willingness to remember, what stops the murderers from doing it all over again?
As can be inferred, I left Cambodia with more questions than I initially had. I can’t figure out how a people so calm and peaceful have been through a period during which the ruling regime and its collaborators murdered almost half of their fellow Cambodians. I can’t understand how they can still have such a big smile on their faces despite this violent history and the extreme poverty they need to live with. On our part, I do not know how the international community remained silent for as long as it did. I fail to grasp how the CPP-controlled elections were defined ‘free and fair’ by the international community. This is especially challenging since we met significant opposition figures like Mu Sochua and Theary Seng and observed first-hand how international support allowed the authoritarian CPP to silence its opponents for the past two decades. Regretfully, I am also sorry for the fact that the West remains distant and lacks interest in the situation in Cambodia. It is hard to admit, but when I first decided to join the Expedition, there was a part of me proud of my own willingness to visit an underdeveloped country far away from my own. For some reason, I evaluated my will to go as a good deed or some sort of altruism. Whereas now, the dominant feeling I have is the guilt over how little I have done for these people who changed something in me that I can’t yet properly define. As members of the Expedition team, our responsibility was to get the word out and to draw attention to Cambodia. Despite the growing feeling in me that this is not enough, at least for now, I hope we succeeded in passing the message to interested and responsible individuals who would not turn a blind eye to Cambodians.
No comments:
Post a Comment