Final thoughts: Bold. Eye opening. Life changing.

Final thoughts: First Day After Cambodia --by Selin

It always surprises me how places -let it be a small room or an entire country- look extremely different the first time we see them. During that very first time, we just see how things look from where we stand, without knowing anything about the other angles. Thus, we have no memories, nothing that allows us to perceive the place emotionally. The first image is therefore more objective, yet at the same time, restricted and incomplete. Similarly, during my tuktuk ride from Phnom Penh International Airport to our hotel near the Independence Monument, I saw the chaos and poverty in Cambodia. However, I had no idea on the underlying causes and complex political relationships that resulted in the current situation. More importantly, I haven’t yet formed an emotional bond with the beautiful people of Cambodia. Therefore it was impossible to foresee then, what I have been feeling since I left: the guilt of being just a visitor, being able to leave at any time and to put a distance between myself and the people whose lives we touched in the past ten days.

When I received the itinerary from UBELONG on our schedule in Cambodia, I realized how much we would learn and experience. Yet, I wasn’t ready for the intensity of this expedition. We were studying the Cambodian genocide, its history and its implications for the future. However, we couldn’t succeed in our search for satisfying answers. Why did it happen? We still don’t know. What strikes me with the Cambodian case is that there is no tangible reason for the mass killings. This is not to say that any form of mass killings in history were logical, of course not. However, in other cases, the reasons that escalated fear and anger and led to the societies’ uncontrollable madness are clearer. In the case of Rwanda, there is the Belgian authorities’ favoring of the Tutsi minority over the Hutu majority. In Bosnia, there are religious and ethnic struggles. Similarly, Post-WWI Germany experienced economic hardships and the Jews were the scapegoats. On the other hand, the Khmer Rouge regime murdered their fellow Khmer. Though statistically they killed more Chams and Vietnamese, numerically, Khmer victims were the majority. As to the reasoning behind these killings, we only have the words of Nuon Chea, from the documentary ‘Enemies of the People’. According to Brother Number Two, the genocide happened because the victims were simply ‘enemies of the people’ that had to be eliminated.  As simple, and as confusing as that.

During our time in Cambodia, we had the opportunity to talk to people who have experienced the brutality of the Khmer Rouge regime. Since 80% of Cambodians live in rural areas, we made a visit to the rural province Kampong Speu at Thpong district. There, we met a Khmer Rouge victim and a perpetuator –though the former Khmer Rouge soldier claimed not to have killed anyone, most of us found this quite hard to believe.  The victim told us about his days away from home, and the hardships he has been through. Similarly, the former soldier explained how influential Khmer Rouge was in the rural areas. It was striking to me to learn that the Khmer Rouge leader of even a small village had the authority to take people away from their homes or kill them –so long as he wished to do so. Earlier, when we met with the Cambodian activist Theary Seng –also a victim of the Khmer Rouge- she told us about the day her mother was murdered. I still can’t forget the pain in her eyes, and her sudden detachment from the present, as she told us her story. She was in prison with her mother and siblings. One morning, she woke up to realize her mother was no longer there. Neither were the adults they shared the prison room with. She immediately understood. ‘I still remember how I felt that moment, as if it happened just a minute ago, I felt as if my spirit was detached from my body’. Horrifying acts of violence continue to haunt people for the rest of their lives. Hearing their stories shook me hard. What was harder for me was to understand their ways of coping with pain, their distinct cultural and religious background, namely, Buddhism.

The discussion of genocide is extremely sensitive. In the case of Cambodia, there are certain other factors that increase the need to watch your words as a foreigner.  First and foremost, there is the unspoken but well-known fact that the international community did not do anything to stop the genocide while it happened. Second, Cambodia is still far from being a democracy, and is ruled by an authoritarian government that includes former Khmer Rouge cadre. Most of the time, it is dangerous for regular Cambodians to criticize the government or take a strong stand against the crimes committed against humanity. But perhaps most importantly, Cambodians have their own way of tackling with their history, and that involves the will to forget rather than the willingness to punish- a tendency common among us Westerners. Though I knew very well that I needed to demonstrate respect for their culture, I found this challenging. According to Buddhist belief, we experience pain and hardships in our current lives due to our wrongdoings in past lives. This allows them to think that they somewhat deserved the treatment of the Khmer Rouge. Moreover, Buddhism motivates them to think that the Khmer Rouge leaders and soldiers will be punished in their next lives. They do not seek revenge because they believe that hatred against another only worsens the situation, and of course, they believe the supernatural forces of the universe will take care of the punishment. No matter how much I forced myself, I failed to appreciate this passive approach of Buddhism. I still feel that forgiving and forgetting, without punishing those responsible, motivates the wrongdoers to manipulate the Cambodian people. Where there is no punishment, no judgment, no willingness to remember, what stops the murderers from doing it all over again?

As can be inferred, I left Cambodia with more questions than I initially had. I can’t figure out how a people so calm and peaceful have been through a period during which the ruling regime and its collaborators murdered almost half of their fellow Cambodians. I can’t understand how they can still have such a big smile on their faces despite this violent history and the extreme poverty they need to live with. On our part, I do not know how the international community remained silent for as long as it did. I fail to grasp how the CPP-controlled elections were defined ‘free and fair’ by the international community. This is especially challenging since we met significant opposition figures like Mu Sochua and Theary Seng and observed first-hand how international support allowed the authoritarian CPP to silence its opponents for the past two decades. Regretfully, I am also sorry for the fact that the West remains distant and lacks interest in the situation in Cambodia. It is hard to admit, but when I first decided to join the Expedition, there was a part of me proud of my own willingness to visit an underdeveloped country far away from my own. For some reason, I evaluated my will to go as a good deed or some sort of altruism. Whereas now, the dominant feeling I have is the guilt over how little I have done for these people who changed something in me that I can’t yet properly define. As members of the Expedition team, our responsibility was to get the word out and to draw attention to Cambodia. Despite the growing feeling in me that this is not enough, at least for now, I hope we succeeded in passing the message to interested and responsible individuals who would not turn a blind eye to Cambodians. 

Pictures day 10 --by Selin

Beautiful Ankor architecture

Boats on the river

Cheese!

Coming up on Ankor Wat

Friends we made along the way

Just a sample of incredible carvings

Monks at Angkor Wat

Receiving charms

Ruins

Statues at Ankor

What a day!

The team

Report day 10 --by Jeff

After our first night in Siem Reap, the expedition began to enjoy the touristic aspects of Cambodia. After breakfast at the hotel, the group bused to temple complex that surrounds Angkor Wat. Along for the ride was our tour guide, who'd turn out to be as entertaining as he was informative. Although we only had the better part of one day, it became obvious that someone could spend a week exploring the dozens of temples outside Siem Reap.

Our first stop was Angkor Thom, once a fortified city that still contains several temple structures. One of the good/bad characteristics about visiting historic places in Cambodia is the fact that visitors are generally free to climb and explore everything. So, the group spent several hours climbing around and within the ruins. I wondered whether the access permitted to the tourists (and hawkers) would expedite the erosion and demise of these magnificent buildings, but the free reign afforded a sense of discovery that would not be available in the West.

After a great lunch, the team made its way to Angkor Wat, one of the treasures of the ancient world. Massive, imperious walls, moats and buildings remind the visitor that this was once the seat of an ancient empire. Yet the grounds, vegetation, ornate frescoes, and resident monks give the place a peaceful, sublime quality. It is easy to see why Angkor Wat remains the singular emblem of Khmer culture and identity. Although we only had a few hours, we could have spent days wandering around the massive temple.

Sadly, today was the last day that the whole expedition team was together. Van had to catch an afternoon flight back to Ho Chi Minh City, and Raul and Selin left to return to Phnom Penh to make sure they were not late for an early morning flight. Their departures made me realize how quickly strong bonds had been made within the group. After an easy day following our hectic schedule over the previous nine days, the group was beginning to reflect on the richness of the expedition, the shared experiences, and the unique setting.

Pictures day 9 --by Jeff

The lush countryside.

Our ride through Cambodia!

Enjoying time together in the van.

The Cambodian countryside as we made our way
from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap.

Report day 9 --by Jeff

Today the group was a travel day for the group from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap. Although an entire day consumed by travel by bus does not immediately seem like a rich experience, there is value to simply seeing the country side go for hour after hour.

Most of the Cambodian population is centered in the middle of the country surrounding the giant lake, Tonle Sap. Phnom Penh and Siem Reap roughly sit at two end points of this lake. The road we took reminded me of how limited infrastructure is in the developing world. The country's main highway, connecting its two largest cities, is a two-lane road shared by trucks, scooters, and animal carts. Virtually the entire distance between the two cities is populated by farm houses on stilts, road-side restaurants, lush green rice paddies and palm trees, and every-so-often, a glimpse of Lake Tonle Sap.

Two observations were made:
1) Cambodia is an extremely homogenous country. While crossing a significant part of the country, especially its population center, there was very little variation from one part to the next. Homes, hammocks, farms, animals, families on scooters, all seemed to repeat over and over for six hours.

2) Despite how poor the homes and farms were, poverty in rural Cambodia did not seem as bleak as urban poverty in other parts of the world. This is not to minimize the lack of resources and services that rural Cambodians live with. I mean to only acknowledge that rural Cambodians live in beautiful country with natural abundance.

Pictures day 8 --by Dave

The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes.  ~ Pema Chodron

Children at the Thpong pagoda where we were graciously hosted. 
Some of the children had never seen westerners prior to our visit.

Breakfast before work!

Stunning visuals.

The pagoda we stayed at.

Hello!

A local man who worked with us.

A local woman who worked with us.

A moment to relax!

Cementing the inner walls of the catch basin.

The sand for the cement was taken from the stream and mixed with concrete mix provided by LWD.

Filtering sand to make cement.

In the Khmer Rouge survivor's home.

Moving stones.

The river near the project.

The UBELONG team and our Cambodian friends working together in the mountains

 to create a reliable, more accessible source of water for surrounding villages.

Working side by side with locals.

Our host for the afternoon, himself a genocide survivor, shares

his story in Thpong District.

Report day 8 --by Dave

An early Friday morning wakeup call from the roosters, and a delicious breakfast of rice and vegetables sent us on our way to volunteer at a mountainside water collection project.  After seeing the large-scale development happening in Phnom Penh, we felt like we had stepped back in time.

The work was hard, hot, and humid.  We did our best to keep up with our Cambodian mentors, who showed us how to filter sand using tattered mosquito nets, and then how to find the right consistency of cement to coat the inner walls of the catch basin.  Moving huge boulders to make way for pipes was an entirely harrowing proposition as our only equipment was an ancient chain winch!  However, our leaders were not concerned, and got the job done.

LWD provided boxed lunches, and we were offered fresh fish right out of the stream. 
 
Our mere three hours was tough, and we marveled at the patient ingenuity of our hosts.  We packed back into our van, and were off to meet with a local man who was told to us to be a former Khmer Rouge solider.  After working on a project intended to be lasting and useful, it was difficult to frame questions for someone who was involved in such destruction.

We arrived at a tidy home in a small village, and were warmly welcomed inside by a quiet man who offered us tea and a seat out of the sun.  To our surprise, he was not an ex-soldier, but rather a survivor who had been kidnapped and taken from his wife and children for a period of four years.  He showed us scars from repeated torturing, and spoke of his 27-day walk back to his family upon his fortunate release.

Our host was thankful to be able to share his story with us, and admitted he had been asked many times in the past to speak about what had happened to him.  I think we were all surprised to listen to him speak of how he found favor, and perhaps sympathy, from his captors over the course of his imprisonment.

We returned to our host pagoda tired but full of new questions, always a positive sign!  After a short break (maybe a welcome nap under the mosquito nets), the team reconvened for a provocative, detailed presentation on democracy and development in Cambodia, led by Selin and Rachel. 

There are innumerable questions of what democracy and development actually mean in a country like Cambodia, better known for its track record of corruption and collusion.  Selin and Rachel facilitated an engaging discussion that drew on elements of all the meetings from the week, including our dinners with Mu Sochua, Theary Seng, DC-Cambodia, and the UN. 

An intense but enormously rewarding day ended at the roadside ‘restaurant’ where we had spent the prior evening.  We shared laughs, beers with friends from LWD, and our fearless STAR Kampuchea  guides Sebastian and Brem, without whom our trip would have been far less meaningful.  Our mosquito nets never looked so inviting as when we arrived back at the pagoda for a final night under the dark clear sky in Thpong.

Op-ed day 7: Cambodia Cohabitation --by Dave

In Cambodia, thirty years after the genocide, perpetrators and victims live together not in   a state of collaboration as would be hoped, but one of tolerant cohabitation. Why?  The reason is that there is no real incentive for them to work together. Cambodia is one of the most corrupt nations in the world, and collaboration is impossible without a functioning, rational framework that fosters integration, and not simply interaction.

The parts of the narrative are more important than the sum.  Genocide is a shared trauma, and on the surface it appears to be so in Cambodia.  Or at least that’s how Westerners talk about it.  However, dig deeper and it is easier to see the grudges.  Not surprising, since the country is less than 20 years out of a protracted civil war that followed one of the darkest human chapters in history, and the blanket pardon offered perpetrators continues to rub salt in painfully fresh wounds.

For example, we visited with a Buddhist monk one evening in rural Thpong District.  After just a few minutes, we were unexpectedly joined by a man whom we were informed was a former Khmer Rouge soldier.  Seeing him and the monk sit side by side, but not together, in the dark of a late evening on the steps of a rural pagoda, the crux of the problem became clear.  Cambodians have compartmentalized their individual histories and stories of suffering. The ex-soldier was there to check us out and make his presence as a local official known.  He answered questions, but I sensed no remorse in his story.  He had rationalized his involvement with the Khmer Rouge, made easier by the impunity given him years ago.  The monk’s long silence while the man spoke told me it was business as usual.  This isn’t to place blame on anyone, or to assume that every Cambodian feels the same way.  I haven’t walked one step in their shoes.  It’s a natural defense mechanism to categorize and box emotional responses, especially over long periods of time, in order to forge ahead.  Whether those feelings are processed and dealt with is the difference between collaboration and cohabitation.

Decades of convulsive attempts to rise above a violent past where guilt and shame play central roles have left Cambodians understandably weary and tired, and have left many development professionals scratching their heads.  Apathy would be an easy way out of understanding the more complex issues in Cambodia, but it’s not altogether off the mark.  Are Cambodians worried that forgiving one another will mean forgetting? 

Finally, the remorseless relationship between the government and its people is a pot waiting to boil over, and typifies the divided state Cambodia finds itself in today.  Despite many positive changes happening in Cambodia to rebuild through billions in aid and perhaps overly ambitious development goals for a country two steps into a marathon, long-term, peaceful, sustainable development cannot happen until integrative social reconciliation opportunities available to every Cambodian are equally prioritized with maintaining shiny, unrepresentative tourist waterfronts in Phnom Penh. 

Op-ed day 7: The Basics Lose in the Government’s Gambling in Cambodia --by Dave

The 1975-1979 Khmer Rouge genocide arguably left Cambodia a country reeling like a person who fell hard, only to awaken years later with no family for support, no ability to eat or speak for itself, nowhere to live, and having been taught next to nothing – a clean slate in the worst way for a country that could otherwise know the relative prosperity of its Asian neighbors. Against those odds, some positive changes have occurred thanks to billions in aid and the arduous work of multilaterals, NGO’s, and INGO’s.   For that very reason, it is tough to see a naked, filthy child sitting feet away from the edge of the treacherous main road packed with tourist buses headed to Siem Reap.  I am one of those tourists, and I just can’t get the image out of my head.

That child is joined by 33% of Cambodians who are under the age of 15[1], and nearly 50% of the entire population is also under the age of 20[2].  The good news is that reasonable growth and urbanization rates can benefit the flood of young Cambodians looking for work in urban areas, fostering education and the growth of technical sector skills owned by Cambodians themselves.  More broadly, the Cambodian government appears to embrace the CMDG framework and is currently on target to achieve at least 3 of the 9 goals by 2015[3].

What troubles me, however, are the CMDG’s not on target to be met, like under-five and maternal mortality rates. The CPP-owned government spends only $119 per capita on health, half the amount Vietnam allocates and a third of what Thailand spends[4]. Infant mortality in Cambodia is also more than 300%[5] higher than its neighbors.  Access to clean water is still a major problem, and the risk of malaria, dengue, diarrhea and other diseases remains very high[6]. 

These are basic problems that could have been resolved years ago were it not for a thinly veiled authoritarian regime meticulously ridding itself of NGO’s interested in helping Cambodian people in Cambodia.  What’s more, the problems of childhood survival say nothing of the human rights, gender equality, and freedom of expression issues, among so many others, awaiting 5 million young Cambodians trying to find that future.  Thanks to the Khmer Rouge, progress towards a productive civil society was wiped away in 1975, and it has been an uphill battle ever since in a country forced to start from scratch as if it had no memory at all.  Cambodia is now riding a wave of relative prosperity and growth, but at what cost?  When a third of the population is at risk in order to make that growth happen, it’s a fragile house of cards.

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[1] 2011 World Population Sheet, Population Reference Bureau
[2] Cambodia country context summary, www.un.org.kh, retrieved November 27, 2011.
[3] Ibid, End Poverty by 2015.
[4] Countries per Global Health Observatory reporting 2009, World Health Organization, www.who.int, retrieved November 27, 2011.
[5] Ibid 1. 
[6] The World Factbook, www.cia.gov, retrieved November 27, 2011